Learning That I Was An Introvert Changed My Life

If you enjoy spending time alone or feel like you don’t belong, you could be introverted too. Here you’ll find some of the most common signs of being an introvert.

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

I Never Knew I Was An Introvert

When I went to school, I was one of the quietest students in class. I don’t know how it is in other countries, but in Denmark, the students get called in for a meeting in the teacher’s office every so often. The purpose of these meetings is to make sure the students are thriving. I resented those meetings because the teacher used the majority of the time telling me to raise my hand in class. The teachers always — always! — told me to raise my hand and to be more active in class. I wanted to raise my hand. I wanted to let them know I knew the answers. But being the center of attention of 30 people even for a couple of minutes scared the hell out of me. I didn’t understand how it came so easy for the other students.

My low self-esteem followed me for many years. I didn’t get a job. Instead, I got a degree in economics, which I never used. I hoped to make friends at the new school. I made a few, but still, I felt like an outsider. I never understood how some people could sit and talk to strangers like they had known each other for years. Other than that, I felt drained of energy when I finally got home.

It wasn’t until I reached 23, something changed. I went to a school called Medieskolen. We had the freedom to be creative and design our own school days — the best year of my life! Our teacher once said something I’ll never forget: You can do anything. Everything is possible until someone proves you otherwise. It developed me so much as a person. I got the courage to place myself in situations that scared me. And I made a lot of friends. Bullying didn’t exist at this school.

On another occasion, he told me that I probably was an introvert. We weren’t that different, he explained. But I didn’t know what that word meant. It didn’t exist in my dictionary, so I started to look into it.

For many years I studied everything about the topic. I watched a bunch of Youtube videos and spent a lot of time in the library. I read almost every book that contained the word personal development, self-help, psychology, mindfulness, or introvert. At the same time, I went on a long inner journey. One book that changed the way I look at myself as an introvert was Quiet by Susan Cain. Everything started to make sense.

I wasn’t weird. I was as normal as one could be. And what’s most important, I wasn’t alone.

My self-esteem improved even more, which gave me the courage to follow my dreams. I wanted to write, make films and explore my creativity. I ended up in a film school. I wrote two books, which weren’t successful — but I did it, and I keep working. I also learned wood carving and leather crafting. I felt that I could finally live the life I dreamed of rather than letting others tell me how to live my life.

I’m still on a journey toward better self-esteem and reaching my goals, but every little step is a step in the right direction.

Photo by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash

Being An Introvert

Being an introvert isn’t always easy. Many introverts get bullied, looked down upon, and are quiet. We are mistaken for being shy, arrogant, and rude. And funny enough, many people have this misconception that it’s only girls and women who are introverts.

Often we’re forced to hide who we are to fit in as our society favors extroverts. But we shouldn’t hide. We are born this way. It’s a part of who we are. We should be proud of being introverts. Just because society isn’t made for us doesn’t mean we don’t exist. It’s hard to say what percent of the population is introverted — it depends on the source. Some sources suggest up to 50 percent. You are not alone; we are just hard to find.

As you may or may not know, introverts prefer calm, minimally stimulating environments. After socializing we’re drained and have to regain energy by spending time alone. Some need more time than others. That’s why we love spending time at home. And that’s why we sometimes decline invitations even though our only plan is to relax on our couch.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean we want to spend time alone all the time, though. It doesn’t always mean we’re shy. Like any other human, we need to socialize. Believe it or not, we can be social, fun, and even outgoing when we want to.

I see it as a strength to be an introvert because it allows us to focus and think deep. Extroverts like to think while they talk; that’s how they process information. Introverts are different. We are creative and deep thinkers. We go inward to come up with clever solutions and new ideas. On top of that, introverts have the benefit of being great active listeners and observers. Compared to extroverts, we don’t interrupt our friends if they need to get something off their chest. Introverts can be good at reading people’s needs and emotions, so we know when to give others the space they need.

Don’t let our quietness fool you. A lot is going on on the hat rack. For the most part, we only speak when we have something to say. It just takes a little longer to formulate our thoughts.

Weirdly enough, in group work, I’ve found people who thought my quietness was scary. Sorry, if I don’t have anything to say, I don’t.

Introverts In An Extroverted World

It can be hard being an introvert, but there is nothing we can do about it. The only thing we can do is to be proud of who we are and proud of all the good that comes with being introverts.

To be clear, I’m not writing all this to hate on extroverts. They are great people. Also, our extroverted world is slowly beginning to understand introverts. Every job on job boards is still looking for outgoing and extroverted employees, but we’re getting there.

By the way, as you now know, introverts could be the perfect employee for your business. I’m sure every business needs a little bit of both worlds, a little more balance. Please hire us.

13 Signs You’re An Introvert

Here in the last bit, I’ll present some of the most common signs that you might be an introvert.

1. You want to hide when the phone rings.
2. You avoid small talk. There are limits to how much one can talk about the weather.
3. You are better at writing than speaking your thoughts.
4. You’re a great listener.
5. You love being alone.
6. You come up with excuses to stay home, and would rather avoid big social gatherings. But you love having a couple of friends over to dinner.
7. Being around too many people drains your energy. You need to recharge.
8. You avoid being the center of attention.
9. You avoid conflicts.
10. You sometimes don’t know what to say. Especially when you are forced to speak up in a group.
11. You love to dive deep into your interests or your work.
12. You think before you speak and take your time to formulate ideas before presenting them.
13. You are creative and have a rich inner world.